Recovering after MJs party! 
I started chatting to a guy on gaydar this week. He made it clear he wanted a LTR and I made it clear that I did not. I said I was interested in finding friends and maybe more. He wanted to continue chatting and he was kinda interesting and well educated, about to finish his PhD. He lived 40 miles away (approx) so really not a problem. We progressed to MSN.
Still pissed off about the previous description of me...
I guess a shags out of the question then?
I started chatting to a guy on gaydar this week. He made it clear he wanted a LTR and I made it clear that I did not. I said I was interested in finding friends and maybe more. He wanted to continue chatting and he was kinda interesting and well educated, about to finish his PhD. He lived 40 miles away (approx) so really not a problem. We progressed to MSN. We talked about Julianne Moore as we both felt she is an underrated actress. It then transpired that my all time favourite scene in a film, which is the breakdown scene at the chemist in Magnolia, is a scene he shows to his students. Not so much of a coincidence as this is a great scene in a great film...
***** says:
do you like me? lol
** says:
yeah you are a very easy to get on with guy
** says:
with great taste in movies
** says:
and actresses
** says:
and breakdown scenes
***** says:
lol
do you like me? lol
** says:
yeah you are a very easy to get on with guy
** says:
with great taste in movies
** says:
and actresses
** says:
and breakdown scenes
***** says:
lol
** says:
and some smart first year students
and some smart first year students
I went on for a bit more listing as much as I could remember about him, I think I mistook the question for a memory task, then:
are these my credetials?
** says:
lol this information I have stored
** says:
so... what can you tell me about me? (I admit I was a little flirty here)
***** says:
probably deceptively smart
***** says:
I think you had a ruggedness, but sensitive amd warm at heart
***** says:
a pushover emotionally, lol
***** says:
I think you need the love, care and attention of a good man! and I mean good in all senses
** says:
lol this information I have stored
** says:
so... what can you tell me about me? (I admit I was a little flirty here)
***** says:
probably deceptively smart
***** says:
I think you had a ruggedness, but sensitive amd warm at heart
***** says:
a pushover emotionally, lol
***** says:
I think you need the love, care and attention of a good man! and I mean good in all senses
Now, even after five hours of 'chatting' can somebody make such judgements? A pushover emotionally?!! Need the love and attention?? I got a little pissed off because I had made myself clear from the outset...
** says:
gosh! wasn't expecting that lol
***** says:
oh
***** says:
am I wrong then?
** says:
erm... prob not in some respects
gosh! wasn't expecting that lol
***** says:
oh
***** says:
am I wrong then?
** says:
erm... prob not in some respects
** says:
i would say that I don't 'need' the love and attention but rather would like the love and attention
***** says:
yes
***** says:
well that's the same thing really ....
***** says:
maybe you have an unrecognised need - as opposed to a want
i would say that I don't 'need' the love and attention but rather would like the love and attention
***** says:
yes
***** says:
well that's the same thing really ....
***** says:
maybe you have an unrecognised need - as opposed to a want
A bit of an argument ensued and I started questioning his motivations because he is cruising gaydar for LTR. I had already thought about this and while I recognise relationships on gaydar can and do happen, I was interested in the way he was specifically looking for a relationship with great effort.
I have only entered into a LTR as a result of falling for someone etc not a conscious decision to seek out and get with anyone else that is also looking, so I wanted to understand his stance...
** says:
but dont you beleive in meeting someone and falling in love unexpected?
***** says:
not sure any more lol
***** says:
of course it has to develop
***** says:
but it's meeting a guy in the first place that is the problem!
***** says:
love takes months and months to develop anyway
** says:
i was thinking about you earlier... and it 'seems' like you have decided you want a relationship and are now thinking "i'm ready to take a partner now" and are just going to take one
but dont you beleive in meeting someone and falling in love unexpected?
***** says:
not sure any more lol
***** says:
of course it has to develop
***** says:
but it's meeting a guy in the first place that is the problem!
***** says:
love takes months and months to develop anyway
** says:
i was thinking about you earlier... and it 'seems' like you have decided you want a relationship and are now thinking "i'm ready to take a partner now" and are just going to take one
***** says:
thinking about me when?
** says:
at work
***** says:
oh no I would never just take one!
***** says:
I am probably the fussiest guy you'll meet
***** says:
I have seen various people for quite a few weeks over the years, but never wanted to commit
***** says:
it just never felt right to me - so I have had my chances, as it were
thinking about me when?
** says:
at work
***** says:
oh no I would never just take one!
***** says:
I am probably the fussiest guy you'll meet
***** says:
I have seen various people for quite a few weeks over the years, but never wanted to commit
***** says:
it just never felt right to me - so I have had my chances, as it were
Still pissed off about the previous description of me...
** says:
so what you are doing now is sifting through the varying levels of shyte on gaydar to find a potential, then see if anything happens
***** says:
lol
***** says:
well if you put it like that ...
***** says:
not really; I am trying to find someone who has similar desires
***** says:
then see if/what happens
so what you are doing now is sifting through the varying levels of shyte on gaydar to find a potential, then see if anything happens
***** says:
lol
***** says:
well if you put it like that ...
***** says:
not really; I am trying to find someone who has similar desires
***** says:
then see if/what happens
I went on to advise of an application on facebook he may be interested in because I wasn't interested in a relationship, as I had made clear from the get go. He took the advice as a 'brush off'?!
***** says:
you brushing me off then? haha
***** says:
true ...
** says:
I have had a shyte year and been hurt twice (one was nice hurt) and all my friends and family are telling me to stay single for a while so I might take that advice... as you said...'emotional pushover'
** says:
but...
***** says:
ok
***** says:
that's fair enough
** says:
I am interested in making new friends and visiting etc and if things do happen well that's really out of my control
***** says:
ok
** says:
but you should know... if we do meet etc... that my mind is set on remaining single right now although 'I' realise that things like that are often outa my hands
** says:
fuk me I talk shit
***** says:
no that's fine
***** says:
thanks for the honesty
** says:
so what are your thoughts?
***** says:
dunno
***** says:
I need bed?!
** says:
ok
you brushing me off then? haha
***** says:
true ...
** says:
I have had a shyte year and been hurt twice (one was nice hurt) and all my friends and family are telling me to stay single for a while so I might take that advice... as you said...'emotional pushover'
** says:
but...
***** says:
ok
***** says:
that's fair enough
** says:
I am interested in making new friends and visiting etc and if things do happen well that's really out of my control
***** says:
ok
** says:
but you should know... if we do meet etc... that my mind is set on remaining single right now although 'I' realise that things like that are often outa my hands
** says:
fuk me I talk shit
***** says:
no that's fine
***** says:
thanks for the honesty
** says:
so what are your thoughts?
***** says:
dunno
***** says:
I need bed?!
** says:
ok
I guess a shags out of the question then?
9 comments:
Is that Beast's wig beside you in bed, dripping dye?
I shall return later to ponder your post.
So the question is, "why did he continue to persue you for an LTR after you'd made it plain you weren't available for one?"
Because...
* He's lonely and likes you - a potent combination.
* Sometimes when people say they don't want a relationship, in truth they're open to persuasion - and he knows that.
* He wanted to believe you didn't mean everything you said...so it wasn't difficult to persuade himself.
* You think once something's been stated clearly it doesn't need to be restated to sink in.
* He's a romantic who mistakes himself for a slut. Or the converse.
Any or all of the above.
I once hooked up for sex with a guy who refused to admit that what he really wanted was an LTR. When (after three weeks of meeting up) I finally crawled out of bed and said "This can't go on", he acted like I'd led him on.
From his point of view perhaps I had, in not being forceful enough about not being in the market for love.
He sent me a text message an hour later: "I never want to see you again."
Soon afterwards I pushed the wrong button on my phone and accientally called him. He said I'd done it deliberately but didn't want to admit it, out of embarrassment for the way I'd treated him.
Six months later he sent a "Hi there" email, and I responded with a carefully worded few paragraphs about how he was a nice guy but we just weren't compatible. He wrote back a shocked note, saying I'd completely misread his intentions and over-reacted.
Three years of silence later there was another "Hi there" email. What's really going on inside his head? I don't know - and I'm sure he doesn't.
MJ: BEASTs wig could be a new objest relation but it wouldn't be in my bed
Kap: I'd like to think he liked me hee hee but I am begining to suspect I may be open to persuasion - and he knew that!
* He's a romantic who mistakes himself for a slut. Or the converse.
This could apply to me, certainly the former.
Your stalker obviously liked you more than either of you realised, he may not have been looking for anything but then he met you. What's really going on indside his head? All of your suggestions apply here too.
I would say a shag would make things a million times worse :-)
As if Beast would know anything about intimate relations.
Other than his cousins.
wv: pretti...like Hardhouse's arse
***ignores nasty pre menstrrual MJ ***
It is no longer "pre" Beast.
I have SATANIC CRAMPS FROM HELL!
*flings tampon at Beast's head*
BEAST: Does a shag ever help?
(are you still grumpy and wanting to hit things?)
MJ: On the blob or not, there will be no tampon throwing here. Dirty bitch...
It's always a little confusing when meeting people. Sometimes words and actions get misinterpreted as something more or something less or something else entirely.
Just go with your instincts; consider what others tell you, but in the end, you know what's best for you, and just go with whatever choice you decide. Whatever happens after, at least it'll be because you took action, and not someone else deciding for you.
Shags may look attractive, but really, they're much worse to clean up compared to regular carpets and rugs.
Post a Comment