Ode to Daves

I know several Daves which means when talking about them (not bitchin - usually) I have to use a little extra cognitive effort using nic names or include surnames in order to accurately describe the correct Dave. I love all the Daves I know therefore I don't mind the extra effort.

I am lucky to know my Daves and dedicate this song to you...

How very dare you!

I realise Facebook could not remain advert free forever, it is after all a marketing wet dream! Mark Zuckerberg may apologise for the adverts and he may insist they are to ensure the site stays free but I have a sneaky suspicion his bank manager is very happy for him.

I am happy for any person's success as long as it isn't detrimental to other people but I do take umbrage at being 'targeted' by ads because of the information in my profile. I have recently changed my profile information to reflect my new fabulous single status so I have listed 'men' as my interest. The adverts quickly changed from credit cards, loans and mobile phone networks to gay dating sites, saunas and life coaching... yes! Life coaching?!

What on earth does this suggest the marketing gurus behind the adverts on facebook think of gay men?



If I were to invest any money in these services and/or products my typical day could be the following...





I would wake up in my gay flat with my gay flat mates courtesy of prideroomates.com and then I can check my emails and messages for gay.com and gaydar. I wouldn't need to let the cats out as they now have cat flaps that open for them which are programmed to recognise their microchips [my prayers have been heard]!

When at work, I could use my work computer to book my next all-gay cruise with Altantis or I could search the online database at Loopylove to find gay men in the UK (as if its not easy enough).


During my lunch I could pop into Utopia Spa to use the sauna and when my working day is done I can use the gym practising the five tips for a flat stomach or take the supplements I purchased to achieve that perfect physique which all gay men must be after.



I would return to my pink home at the end of the day (remembering I have no need to let the cats in) squealing with delight when greeted by my gay flatmates. We would later discuss our sauna sessions and the 'hot' new guys we've found online but first I would need to have a session with my life coach.



Not a bad day for many... but... just because a man wants to list himself on his facebook profile as interested in men facebook assumes he's a pink poofy queen who calls his ass a manny!


How very dare you!!

Single Me

As I have been recently rendered single I must now make a decision on the kind of single person I shall be. As I understand it there are several different types of singleness which kind of determines the type you become. There are those that have never really been in a long term relationship (LTR) and the majority of this group are young persons who haven’t really ‘had a stab’ at anything more than sex and dates. This is understandable for young folk as they are making other life decisions such as career or education. They also spend a huge amount of time satisfying themselves in whichever way they can – and rightly so! In short, youngsters are discovering their own identity and don’t normally have the focus for another individual or relationship. Another singles category is the group of people that no person (and some animals) would entertain as a partner. This can be for many reasons but in the main it will be because they are ridiculously ugly either in appearance or their personality. It could also be due to physical or mental health issues or even just poor personal hygiene. The broken heart group did find the love of their life but in the end it wasn’t reciprocated leaving them unable to move on. Conversely, there are the romantics who have not found ‘the one’ yet and are happy in the knowledge that Mr or Mrs Right will come along and until that time they will remain happy and single. The selfish adult likes to have fun and think only of themselves, they have no intention of entering into a LTR. I use the word ‘selfish’ as descriptive and not as any kind of judgement as they do not really hurt anyone and they will often make their intentions clear to all. Then there are those that are unable to commit to a LTR, usually due to an emotional flaw (reactive attachment disorder). And finally, there are those who have recognised they are in the wrong relationship and have separated amicably or otherwise – this is the group that I am currently situated in.

So how should I be?

Generally speaking, members of my group can become several different types of single. They can mope and moan about the previous relationship and how they don’t want to be single or feel that they always will be single, becoming withdrawn and self pitying. I think I have moaned enough already and I don’t feel withdrawn so I guess I will not be this kind of single. They can rush into a rebound relationship or just another relationship in some kind of serial monogamy fashion. I really can’t be arsed with anyone else right now and the thought of learning another partners sleep and toilet habits is off putting at the moment. Alternatively, the single can freefall into a social life fuelled by drink, drugs and meaningless sex. This is an attractive option but I have two jobs and studies to continue so maybe I’ll consider this option on a part time basis. As per the advice from my family and friends the single can choose to have ‘me time’, that is to not even attempt a reconciliation or seek another relationship in the foreseeable future and take time to focus on personal and professional goals. This is the option for me right now and listing the options here has helped me to decide. I will however be borrowing heavily from the freefall option with regular (but not full time) drinking, drugs and meaningless sex. In fact I am going to have such a fucking laugh and live selfishly and hedonistically albeit in a sensible manner.

I am really looking forward to this….

BRING-IT-ON!!!