Emotional Pushover!

Recovering after MJs party! I started chatting to a guy on gaydar this week. He made it clear he wanted a LTR and I made it clear that I did not. I said I was interested in finding friends and maybe more. He wanted to continue chatting and he was kinda interesting and well educated, about to finish his PhD. He lived 40 miles away (approx) so really not a problem. We progressed to MSN.

We talked about Julianne Moore as we both felt she is an underrated actress. It then transpired that my all time favourite scene in a film, which is the breakdown scene at the chemist in Magnolia, is a scene he shows to his students. Not so much of a coincidence as this is a great scene in a great film...

We talked about many more things over a period of three hours one night and two hours the next. Then he asked and I replied as follows (** = me) - what follows here is a gargantuin breach of privacy which I feel a little bad about:

***** says:
do you like me? lol
** says:
yeah you are a very easy to get on with guy
** says:
with great taste in movies
** says:
and actresses
** says:
and breakdown scenes
***** says:
lol

** says:
and some smart first year students

I went on for a bit more listing as much as I could remember about him, I think I mistook the question for a memory task, then:

are these my credetials?
** says:
lol this information I have stored
** says:
so... what can you tell me about me? (I admit I was a little flirty here)
***** says:
probably deceptively smart
***** says:
I think you had a ruggedness, but sensitive amd warm at heart
***** says:
a pushover emotionally, lol
***** says:
I think you need the love, care and attention of a good man! and I mean good in all senses

Now, even after five hours of 'chatting' can somebody make such judgements? A pushover emotionally?!! Need the love and attention?? I got a little pissed off because I had made myself clear from the outset...

** says:
gosh! wasn't expecting that lol
***** says:
oh
***** says:
am I wrong then?
** says:
erm... prob not in some respects

** says:
i would say that I don't 'need' the love and attention but rather would like the love and attention
***** says:
yes
***** says:
well that's the same thing really ....
***** says:
maybe you have an unrecognised need - as opposed to a want

A bit of an argument ensued and I started questioning his motivations because he is cruising gaydar for LTR. I had already thought about this and while I recognise relationships on gaydar can and do happen, I was interested in the way he was specifically looking for a relationship with great effort.

I have only entered into a LTR as a result of falling for someone etc not a conscious decision to seek out and get with anyone else that is also looking, so I wanted to understand his stance...

** says:
but dont you beleive in meeting someone and falling in love unexpected?
***** says:
not sure any more lol
***** says:
of course it has to develop
***** says:
but it's meeting a guy in the first place that is the problem!
***** says:
love takes months and months to develop anyway
** says:
i was thinking about you earlier... and it 'seems' like you have decided you want a relationship and are now thinking "i'm ready to take a partner now" and are just going to take one

***** says:
thinking about me when?
** says:
at work
***** says:
oh no I would never just take one!
***** says:
I am probably the fussiest guy you'll meet
***** says:
I have seen various people for quite a few weeks over the years, but never wanted to commit
***** says:
it just never felt right to me - so I have had my chances, as it were

Still pissed off about the previous description of me...

** says:
so what you are doing now is sifting through the varying levels of shyte on gaydar to find a potential, then see if anything happens
***** says:
lol
***** says:
well if you put it like that ...
***** says:
not really; I am trying to find someone who has similar desires
***** says:
then see if/what happens

I went on to advise of an application on facebook he may be interested in because I wasn't interested in a relationship, as I had made clear from the get go. He took the advice as a 'brush off'?!

***** says:
you brushing me off then? haha
***** says:
true ...
** says:
I have had a shyte year and been hurt twice (one was nice hurt) and all my friends and family are telling me to stay single for a while so I might take that advice... as you said...'emotional pushover'
** says:
but...
***** says:
ok
***** says:
that's fair enough
** says:
I am interested in making new friends and visiting etc and if things do happen well that's really out of my control
***** says:
ok
** says:
but you should know... if we do meet etc... that my mind is set on remaining single right now although 'I' realise that things like that are often outa my hands
** says:
fuk me I talk shit
***** says:
no that's fine
***** says:
thanks for the honesty
** says:
so what are your thoughts?
***** says:
dunno
***** says:
I need bed?!
** says:
ok

I guess a shags out of the question then?